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Monday, July 27, 2009

The show must go on.

Mood:-Psyched! I've been feeling really happy and content with everything the past few days seeing as I'm usually a very bi-polar person things are either going to go drastically wrong during the next few days or my life has finally balanced out and I can experience feelings like a normal person :p

Listening to:- The Prodigy-Omen (Hands down one of the best electronic rock band's there are, and this song proves just that)

Current quote:-I've met so many people, often the scum of the earth, and found them, you know, quite decent. I am an uncomfortable stranger to moral indignation. ~W. Somerset Maugham
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P7-Being Aaliyah [Yuup; I've decided on a name myself since you guys are not at all helpful -.-' Except for Material Girl ofcourse, who picked out this name ;p]

It's a short post but hey something is better than nothing, right? If I get good feedback on this one I promise you a new one as soon as possible. My inspiration for this post came from the Anonymous commentors, Thank you :)

I put my wayfarers back on and slipped into my flip flops as I gazed at the beautiful scenery in front of me. The stunning, crystal blue waters sparkled in the sunlight as the fish jumped in and out of the water causing ripples to form in the sea. I moved closer and tossed a pebble into the water as far as I could get it to go and smiled lightly as I heard it plop into the sea.

I sat down and watched the sand granules fall through the spaces in my hand as I poured it from one hand to another. I took a deep breath and wondered how I ended up in such a situation.

My friend is about to kill himself and I’m sitting here talking to myself. Great.

My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and I gazed up at the blue cloudless sky as if looking for an answer. This was the place my parent’s would always bring me to when I was little. We would spend hours lazing under the hot sun doing just about nothing and everything all at the same time. I’m sure we would still be doing those things if it wasn’t for that dreaded day that took my parents’ away from me.

I tried not to think about it but every single moment remained so clear in my mind. My mind raced back to us calmly sitting in our boat, fishing like we always did every Friday but we never expected there to be thunder. We lived in a desert where it seldom rained so checking the weather forecast was not something we were accustomed to. My parents never learned how to swim and I was neither strong nor a good enough swimmer to save them. I remember that night as I was about to drown, I felt a force push me towards the buoy and I held onto it with all my might as I watched my parents being helplessly thrown around in the sea. I tried to pull them towards me but it was of no use, they had already drowned. I was shivering from the cold and crying at the same time, I felt so lost as I kept calling my parents’ names. I was then rescued by a man who now takes care of me. He tries to become closer to me but I guess a part of me doesn’t want to let him in because I’m afraid he’ll try and take my father’s place.

I pushed these thoughts back into my head and tried to concentrate on what was happening right now. My mind always drifted off topic, I think it’s mainly because I have so many things bottled up in my mind that I never allow myself to think about. I’ve always been afraid to let emotions in, I’ve always been too afraid to feel.

Until next time,

xoxo

P.s: I figured that maybe since I wrote my thoughts before the story you guys forgot about it by the time you finished reading the story so I'll say it again; when I say leave me suggestions, I honestly mean leave me the suggestions :P I'll take criticism too! but right now I'm desperate for a name.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Untitled? Part Six.

I can't really be bothered to write this post in my usual layout and as for my mood, I'm feeling pretty depressed right now but I'm already late on my promise so I wanted to post tonight. I think I've come to that stage in your life where you realise just how harsh reality is, when people say things are going to get better; they never mean it. I always thought missing someone should get better as the days went on and although I think of her less, I still tear up every now and then. Happy Birthday G.B, You would've been a year older today and someone to be very proud of too :*


Also since I figured that this post is way way way too short I added an extra part to it and I'll be leaving tomorrow so I'm not sure if I'll be able to update soon but most probably in less then a week if not tomorrow.

P.s I still need a name for the story, parts are getting boring. Help!
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*In Fahad’s perspective.

I put my hands on my head as I thought about what I just saw. I don’t know why I followed her home or even attempted to befriend her in the first place, all I knew is at that moment it was exactly what I wanted to do. I’ve never been a guy who was good with dealing with emotions; I would flee at the first sign of them so what am I doing with a girl like this?

Ever since that day Abood hit that girl, I’ve been feeling really emotional and anxious about everything. I can’t remember the girl’s face or her friend’s; I was too shocked to look up especially since I knew he saw her there and still hit her. I have a feeling her death wasn’t accidental but I still didn’t have the courage to question my friend.

I was a coward, I am a coward but I’m tired of being one. I need to talk to him now, if Aaliyah is so upset over whatever she’s gone through, I wonder how that girl must feel. I need to find that girl and talk to her but more importantly I need to find Abood and talk to him...now.

I ran out of my cousin’s house and out on to the road, quickly but carefully enough so that Aaliyah doesn’t happen to see me. I jumped into my Range Rover, put my Ray Ban wayfarers on and plugged the iTrip in as Laurent Wolf’s ‘No Stress’ blasted out. I tilted my head back as I pondered about what I was going to do next. I pulled my mobile out and called Abood; a groggy, unfamiliar voice picked up the phone.

I soon came to realize that it was in fact Abood, he sounded horrible; like he’d been crying for days. I decided that I could play the curious boy later and the dutiful friend now and pushed my foot on the accelerator as I headed to his house.

I was greeted at the door by a pale looking Abood, who looked as though he hadn’t slept in days. I unexpectedly pulled him into a hug and then straightened myself out as I felt his body tighten. I pulled away and asked him how he was doing; he simply gave me half a smile and led me into his house. I tried asking him questions but he was too deep in his own thoughts to hear me, I looked around the place and as bad as my room looked back home. This place looked like a hurricane went through it, I tried to arrange whatever I could and then proceeded to order some food since it didn’t look like he had anything to eat in a while and I was beginning to grow hungry.

After more than an hour or so of sitting in silence he began to speak.

Abood: ‘I don’t know why I did it, it was so stupid of me but I was out of control. I didn’t think about what I was doing’.

Me: ‘What? What’s wrong?’

Abood: ‘Everything was going fine and then he had to come along and ruin it and I just didn’t know how to deal with him in the picture. I went crazy Fahood, I know I’ve done some really messed up stuff in the past but this is beyond my limit and I took it all out on her, without even listening to her side and now..’.

Me: *my heart went out to this guy, sitting here watching him filled with so much pain and remorse, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel* ‘I..I...I don’t know what to say Abood. I want you to tell me everything that happened to make you like this. Everything from the beginning, till right now and I promise you we’ll figure everything out’.

Abood: ‘You don’t understand! I am going crazy, literally! Everywhere I go, I see her face, and everything I do reminds me of her. How can I live with myself after I’ve done something like this? How can I enjoy my life when I took hers away from her?’

Me: ‘...What’s done is done. We all make mistakes’.

Abood: ‘A MISTAKE? So, this is all just a mistake to you. I killed a girl, Fahad. Do you know how it feels to wake up every day knowing you’re a murderer? Knowing you murdered the one girl you loved, the one person who was able to make you smile, the one person who made your life...worth living’.

Me: *I looked down at my shoes, I really didn’t know what to say* ‘Abdullah, that might all be true but what exactly can you do about it now? Crying and feeling depressed about it isn’t going to help’.

Abood: ‘I know but I don’t know how to be any other way which is why I wanted to let you know that I’m going to end this, once and for all’.

Me: *gee this guy sounds he came right out of a movie* ‘and how do you plan on doing that?’

Abood: ‘I’m going to take my life, just like I took hers’.

The amount of shock that was shown on my face was unbelievable.

Me: ‘You’re going to do what?’

Abood: ‘You heard me’.

With that, he walked away. I was too surprised, shocked and just upset to do anything about it. Even if I did, what would I say to him? What could I possibly say that could ever make him feel right again? I’ve never been good with words; I wouldn’t know what to say or where to start.
I just walked out of his house, praying that it wasn’t something I was going to regret later on. I needed to think, I needed to be at my special place, and just think. I got into the car and drove off, with a hundred bottled up emotions inside just waiting to spill out.

Until next time,

xoxo

Friday, July 17, 2009

Part Five.

Yes! I'm finally back. I don't know wether I'm happy or sad right now. The weather is horrible, it's disgusting and hot and there was a sandstorm today that didn't make it any more welcoming. Thankfully I'll be off again on the 22nd, I'm looking forward to that now though I might think otherwise once the 22nd approaches. Anyhow since I promised you all a post once I got back, I'm giving you one. It's not long at all but it's all I have right now though if the feedback is good, I'll have a new one up by tomorrow.

Overview on my trip along with pictures will also be up soon. I'd also like to add that if there's anything in the plot you don't undersand or something you'd like to add to it, please feel free to let me know. Any suggestions would be highly appreciated.

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Current mood:-Jetlagged/ tired as hell yet I can't find it in me to fall asleep. All hail the insomniacs!

Listening to:-Jay Sean ft Lil Wayne: Down. Lil Wayne is indeed a drunk bastard or so he comes off as. Sadly I used to think this guy had talent and then I heard his real voice. As much as I hate Jay Sean and that air of haughtiness he so proudly wears, I must admit; his voice is a killer. The beats in this song are great. Worth a listen.

Current Quote:-'You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist'. ~Attributed to both Golda Meir and Indira Gandhi

This post is dedicated to Anwar, for well just being Anwar. You have an inability to spell anything right, you have a retarded laugh, and a tendency to go on about stupid things but then again so do I, but most of all you listen to the crap I say, day after day without getting tired. Thank you boo!

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I let the tears fall as I dialed her number. My breathing grew heavier as I heard the ringing tone and was then greeted by the answering machine. I took a deep breath as the answering machine began to speak.

‘Hey this is Hala, I’m sorry I can’t get to the phone now. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible’.

I heard my loud laughter fill the background and the voices were muffled by a loud beep. My mobile fell out of my hands as the tears spilled out of my eyes. Not having her next to me to tell me off when I do something wrong, not being able to call her up in the middle of the night for absolutely no reason, not being able to go out with her and make complete idiots of ourselves was driving me crazy. I missed that ridiculous laugh of hers, the smile that could light up my day and eyes that could drive any sane man mad. I wanted nothing more than to be with her.

Loud sobs escaped me as I fell onto the ground sobbing. I didn’t want to be this way but I didn’t know what else to do, no-one else understood me, no-one else knew what I was going through and having all this emotion locked up in myself is just so hard.

I spotted some movement in the house nearby and I looked up to see someone quickly duck behind the curtains.

With a sigh, I lifted myself off the ground and shut the curtains and l lied on my bed allowing my exhausted self to drift to sleep not knowing that it was in fact Fahad who had followed me home and watched me from the opposite house.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Just when you think everythings alright..

Hey loves!

I'm in London now and the weather is gorgeous.There's always something about this place that makes me happy. I'd go on and on but I'm afraid I haven't the time.

The arrival at London was a very sad one we were greeted with the news of the passing away of one of my brother's best friends: A. I didn't know him personally but I know he made my brother a better person and was always there for him.He was an amazing person and lit up all of our lives in an unimaginable way. I pray for his family and his friends and especially for A. I also pray dearly for God to help ease my brothers sufferings and help him get through this. You were a good guy A, I'm sure you're in a better place. May He rest in peace.

Until next time,

X

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That post should have been posted on July 2nd but since Im pretty much handicapped when it comes to technology I had no idea how to post it.

Im in Sweden right now, sitting in the airport. My cruise just finished and we are flying out to Denmark today, London again after two days and finally back home. I actually miss the ever-so materialistic place I call home.

I will be writing about my vacation later and I have some pictures to share.

P.s: I dont know where the apostrophes are on this keyboard so you must ignore my lack of using it.

Im also going to update the story once Im back, which will be in less then a week.

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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Part Three & Four.

I should be running off to the airport right now but I'm sitting here posting instead :P It should put me down that I'm not getting any feedback on the story but I still have a few loyal readers and I'm writing more for myself then anyone else, so here is part three and four since I won't be posting for another few weeks.

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~One by one, everything falls apart.

*I’m not liking the story that much in second view perspective so I’m going to try it out in first person, I’d like to know which one is more interesting, maybe I’ll decide on doing both or just one. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

I stopped an escaping sob and reminded myself that this was my decision, yes I was going through a rough time and I was hoping the people would be more considerate but everything happening now was a result of my own actions.

I pushed a strand of my honey brown hair behind my ears and went back to placing my books into my bag. I stood up coming face to face with a grey-haired, middle-aged woman.

She had a concerned look on her face and asked me what was wrong.

‘’Nothing..’’ I stopped mid-way and then began to continue, ‘’I knew moving schools wasn’t going to be easy but no-one said it would be this hard’’. With that, I walked away not knowing where my next class was but I wasn’t intending on attending it.

‘’Miss Aaliyah’’, a loud voice boomed through the hallway. I quickly spun around to see my form teacher, Miss Z standing there with a suspicious look on her face.

Miss Z: ‘’You’re not lost, are you?’’
Aaliyah: ‘’Uhmm, Actually I think I am’’.
Miss Z: ‘’Follow me’’.

I gritted my teeth in frustration that I’d have to enter another class filled with those horrible people again.

I entered the class with my eyes placed firmly on the floor. The two blonde girls sitting in the front row doing a head to toe inspection of me didn’t make me feel any better about my choice of clothes or state of appearance.

Miss Z: ‘’Aaliyah seemed to have lost her way again, I’d really appreciate it if one of you would like to help show her around’’.
The class remained silent.

Miss Z (clears throat): ‘’I would REALLY like it if someone volunteered to help her out’’.

I heard a rough voice call out: ‘’Sure miss, I’d like to help out’’. I looked up to see the hazel eyed boy staring at me with a curious look on his face. My expression quickly changed to astonishment as I anticipated why he’d want to help me out.

Miss Z: ‘’Okay Fahad, you are now in charge of showing Aaliyah around school, thank you’’.

I was going to decline but I figured I had nothing to lose, I didn’t know anyone here and by the looks of it, it didn’t look like I was going to make any friends anytime soon so I might like to have some company even if he probably hated me already.

Part Four:

I tapped my pen against the table, counting the minutes till class got over with and I could leave the school grounds.

As I was engrossed in my own world, analyzing the events of the day, I looked up to see Fahad staring at me with a concerned look on his face. I looked back down as I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him and as the bell rang I scurried out of the classroom.

As I was walking onto the courtyard, I felt a pair of strong arms pull me back. I turned around to come face to face with Fahad. He looked at me with that intent look of his and said:

‘I know you’re going through a rough situation right now, but ignoring everyone isn’t going to help you through it’.

I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said:

‘You have no idea what I’m going through right now so you don’t really have the right to judge me. I don’t need any more friends to lose’.

He came closer to me and was about to offer some advice but I pushed past him and kept walking, even though I heard Fahad call my name, till I reached my car and then asked my driver to speed home.

When we neared our house, I literally jumped out of the car and ran into my house. I quickly slammed the door to my room and collapsed onto my bed. I was out of breath and I couldn’t think straight. I just needed to hear her voice.

Part Two.

Current mood:-Hyper! I'm finally leaving tomorrow! :D

Listening to:-My maid whine about how many clothes I have packed. Sadly, I don't even have time to listen to my blessed music today and the fact that my iPod went crazy on me, leaving me unable to update it, isn't helping :(

Current quote:-'Sometimes we expect more from others because we'd be willing to do that much for them'.

This post is dedicated to my lovely cousin H, for helping me out with the story and encouraging me to post it. Thank you :*

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~You can’t run away from the truth

She pushed her head back into the seats and asked her driver to get her to school fast as she thought to herself; ‘why me?’.

Today was her first day in her new school, since she was moving towards the end of the year; things were going to be a bit complicated. She couldn’t go back to her old life, how could she?

Everywhere she went, all she saw was her. Running away never was her thing but she didn’t know what else to do.

The car pulled into the school’s parking lot and she quickly jumped out of the car and waved goodbye to her driver. She slid her hand over her clothes, making sure everything was in place and she walked into the school building.

After she had greeted the staff and introduced herself, she was taken to her form class, where she’d have to head every morning to take attendance. She shuffled from foot to foot nervously as the students in the class stared at her.

Miss: ‘Hello dear, why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself?’

She hesitated but then opened her mouth and began to speak: ‘My name is Aaliyah and a few days ago you could pretty much call me your average Emirati girl but as of recently I’m not exactly where I stand anymore. I am 17 years old of age but events have changed me into someone a lot older. I don’t know if I’ll fit in here but I hope you guys are willing to give me a chance’.

Miss: ‘That was... a lovely speech Aaliyah; please go sit yourself down next to Raneem’. She indicated to an empty spot next to a friendly looking red-haired girl.

Aaliyah kept her eyes on the floor as she walked towards her seat. As she sat down, she smiled at Raneem and then went back to her notebook.

She quickly scanned the room, taking in all the new faces. If she wasn’t feeling so gloomy, she probably would’ve been quite excited at the prospect of being around so many different, interesting-looking people.

She turned her head as she felt someone staring at her; she looked up to see a very good-looking guy. She stared at him for a bit as she could’ve sworn she had seen him before. He had eyes of hazel, long lashes, a strong chiseled jaw, dark brown hair and the body of a Greek statue. He quickly turned his head around as if in panic or something.

The bell soon went off and it was time to move on to the next class. As she was walking out of the classroom, he bumped into her, causing her to knock all her books onto the floor. She looked up half expecting him to help her pick it up but instead he quickly turned and walked the other away.

She had never felt so out of place before; she put her bag down and gathered all her books into a pile. No-one stopped to help her, not even the smiley Raneem.

Moving schools was starting to look like a huge mistake.

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*I didn't like this post at all but I didn't know how else to write about it. Like I said before, my story isn't all that next to the other stories up in blogsphere but I'm giving it my best and I'd love some feedback on it :)

x